A very quick photo update

Snippets

I don't have a lot of time, so I will just write random one sentence summaries of my day to give you a taste.

Nothing is worse than hearing your daughter cry in her sleep.  What is she dreaming of that is making her cry?  Is it of me?  Is she dreaming of being hurt, ignored, unloved?  My poor girl.

Why, pray tell, is Loki ravenously hungry when I need to get Jeanne either on the potty or down for a nap? aka, when I need two hands...

For a 'wimpy white boy' who needed to spend 5 days in the NICU, he sure has one set of lungs on him!

Remember to breathe Crystal.

I hate that this thought went through my head today: "If he's screaming, he's alive".

Things move much faster now a days

Alarm went of at 6:00 am, hubbers sleeps through it 3 times, both Loki and Jeanne wake at the same time (of course).  Hubbers changes Loki while I put Jeanne on the potty and bring her into our room.  The four of us lie in bed for 10 minutes, then start our day.  Since Loki just nursed, he fell back to sleep and Jeanne was happy as a lark with her 'button' I made dinner in the slow cooker while having my morning coffee (pulled pork loin with shredded sauerkraut, carrots and zucchini).  Hubbers gets ready for work while  try to get breakfast ready for Jeanne.  Jeanne just loves NOT listening these days.  I keep telling her to leave Loki be when he is sleeping in the swing, but NO, does she listen, NO! (grr)

Breakfast was had by all (8:30 am finally!) then I attempted to take a shower.  This means I have to put Jeanne in her bed (even though I know she can crawl out, its a good starting place for her) with toys and books, and put music on (today was Led Zeppelin). As soon as I get her settled Loki starts to fuss.  I try to console him and sooth him, but its a no go, and he needs to nurse again.  I can hear Jeanne on the monitor and every once in a while she calls for me or 'daddy', but it sounds more like shes just talking about us, rather than calling for us.  I manage to take a SUPER fast shower (9:15 am), and while I am drying off Jeanne is now clearly calling for me, and I can hear her knocking in her bedroom door (meaning she's out of her bed).  I'm still naked, since Jeanne is calling me loudly now, I pick up Loki, run past my living room window (shades are open of course) and open Jeanne's door slowly since I know she's right behind it.  Guess what I am greeted with.  A happy, beaming Jeanne who invites me to dance to Dyer Maker (she reached for me and says "hand", and starts dancing).  I laugh and start dancing with Loki on my shoulder and my hair wrapped in a towel.  This a a great moment for me.

After our dance, I get dressed and decide to take Jeanne and Loki out for a walk.  Loki is in the car seat, Jeanne has her shoes on, and we are almost ready, I just need my shoes.  I see Jeanne over by Loki with two wooden blocks in her hand, hovering over Loki's head.  I yell "NO!" "Jeanne don't!"  She looks at me, then drops them both, thankfully on his belly.  Unfortunately I lose my temper at Jeanne and slap her hand. I feel like hell immediately, and explain to Jeanne that she has to listen to mummy, that she can't throw things at Loki.  This is a really bad moment for me.  Jeanne recovers quickly, so at least I know I didn't hurt her.  We leave the house for our walk (9:55 am).

Off to the garage to pick up our double stroller (it technically fits in our trunk, but then nothing else would).  It's a beautiful day, 60F with the slightest breeze.  I walk for 30 minutes, then let Jeanne play in the volley ball court (aka giant sandbox) for a while.  Loki wakes and I nurse him while Jeanne plays and we sit on the grass.  I know it will take a while to make lunch, so we head in the house (11:00 am) and Jeanne watches "Play with me Sesame" while I do dishes and get our lunch ready.

12:00 pm Jeanne eats really well, blueberries in yogurt, several spoonfuls of molasses and a cup of applesauce.  12:30 she had her milk and we read books before her nap, she needed a little help, but fell asleep around 1:10pm  Loki has been asleep since around 11:30 and its now 1:45pm, so I'm off to wake, change and feed him. 

*sigh*

Short story author: Greg Egan

While I was pregnant, hubbers bought a book of short stories for me, as I did not feel like I had the time, or mental energy to read a longer book.  I was wanting to read Towers of Midnight: Book 16, as it was given as a gift to me from a dear friend, but the sheer heft of the book deterred me.  Next in line was the first book Game of Thrones: Book 1 by George R.R. Martin.  I started it, but was overwhelmed with the number of names and new characters I would have to learn, and after 15 books of the Wheel of Time, I didn't want to start a new series.  In lieu of this, my dear hubby bought me Luminous: by Greg Egan.  Egan is a fantastic writer!  He holds nothing back, and writes really in depth, extremely descriptive stores about biology, physics, neurobiology, psychology and sci fi.  He defines nothing, and there is no ramp up room for understanding  a new topic.  If you don't know anything about cooling atoms with lasers, than you are out of luck with this particular story.  This is NOT a detriment, this a wonderful breath of fresh air!  As a SAHM, I basically say and think the same thing all day long (" cover your mouth when you cough", "do you need to go potty?", "what color is this..., no it is not green, it is...")so when I get to read an intelligent, well written, wonderfully intriguing story, I feel grateful.

So I guess, I want to thank my husband for buying me this book, and allowing me 2 minutes a day to remind myself that I am a) an adult, b) an intelligent adult, and c)I still have a working brain.  I'd also like to thank Greg Egan for some truly fantastic and original sci fi with  an education!

Groceries

Can someone with more than one child please tell me how you get groceries into your house when you have a toddler and a newborn?  It was manageable with just Jeanne, since she can walk up the stairs with minimal help (and I can sherpa up), but I can't hold Jeanne's hand, 4 bags of groceries and the cars seat with Loki in it up a flight of stairs.

Some of recommended leaving the kids in the car (still buckled in) and run up the groceries, then go back down and get them, but I feel uncomfortable leaving Loki alone, he could easily spit up and choke and I wouldn't know it...  I also can't bring the kids up and leave them in the house, as I don't trust Jeanne alone with Loki, but even if I put her in her room with the door closed, I'm still left with Loki being alone.....

Anyone....

Bueller?
Bueller?

Holy Calamity, Scream and Shout!

Hubbers went back to work this week, which included a day trip (4am-730pm) to DC on Tuesday (ug, it's only Wednesday).  All of  a sudden, this SAHM thing got REAL.  I thought taking care of a toddler was difficult, or energy dependent, CLEARLY I was mistaken.

Jeanne for the most part is great, although she has been practicing the art of NOT listening (I can ask her to cover her mouth when she coughs 500 times a day, and a get a blank stare, but if I whisper "Want to watch Gabba"?, wow boy, she'll come running from the other room).  She's also been pretty sick. This weekend she had a high fever with chills, which left daddy sleeping with her and wiping her down with a wet cloth, while I tried to feed Loki.  Jeanne has also been coughing like mad, and I assumed it was due to allergies (everything is blooming and covered with green pollen here).  I brought her to the Dr's after she coughed through her whole nap time, but she only has a virus (sigh).

Loki is bipolar. He either eats really well, and sleeps a long time, or eats greedily and spits it all up and wants more 45 minutes later.  I've been nursing him while lying down at night, which will let us both sleep a lot more, and does not require him to be burped.  But if I want to move him to his co-sleeper so he can sleep on his back, he will spit up and be fussy for almost 90 minutes, every single time I try to move him.  Its rather annoying.

Hubbers was exhausted after his trip yesterday, so I *tried* to let him sleep without disturbing him too much, but Loki's fussing did wake him a couple of times.  Daddy tried to help burp him and calm Loki, but in the end it came down to just feeding him again.  Daddy was swet enough to give Jeanne her milk at 6 am( YES, she slept all night!), and he took care of her in the morning, and let Loki and I sleep until 7:30am (oh great googily moogily!).

I have unfortunately noticed I haven't taken ANY pictures of Loki or Jeanne, it's hard enough watching them, never mind getting them to pose!  I'll try this weeekend when there are more hands around.

P.S.  Thanks Granma Barb for coming over last night, it made all the difference in the world!  I am SO glad you are here!

Well, he's a good sleeper

so far anyway...  Loki also loves his pacifier, which is very different from Jeanne.  Jeanne would push her tounge out and move her head away anytime we tried to give her a pacifier. When she rooted, she wanted FOOD.  Not so much with Loki. He loves to fall asleep with his pacifier, and will cry a fit if you don't give it to him.  I've often thought he was just hungry again and would try to nurse him, but he would fall asleep within moments and not eat.  So, I suppose I will be buying more pacifiers this weekend.  The two we bought Jeanne we really just used to help her with her teething, but whatever makes the boy happy!

Jeanne is adjusting well, she has her ups and downs.  She is always asking where Loki is if he is out of sight, and is always good enough to tell me that "Loki want milk" when he is crying (which always makes me laugh, "Yes, Jeanne I know, I'm trying to get to him love."  She also asks to hold him a lot, and loves to smother him in kisses, which again makes us happy, but worries us too.  She tries to be gentle, but she is only 22 months old.  Jeanne's temper tantrums have also been on the rise, but we've been careful not to feed into them, so she cries, throws herself on the ground, and we let her get it out.  When she's done, we wipe her tears, and its as if it never happened.

I think hubbers and I have been very deliberate in paying attention to Jeanne, we both get on the floor with her while Loki sleeps, we sit at her toddler table and have nachos and SALSA, and hubbers has now taken over the nightly Jeanne duties, so she gets extra daddy snuggle time early in the morning.

I'm sure there will be hiccups and really bad days ahead, but so far all I see is my wonderful family.